For 2020 I am going to try and actually read more. At minimum, I would like to finish at least one book a month. Doesn't matter if it's a novel, non-fiction, self-help, or self-development for my career.
I bought this book, "Unfuck Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life" sometime in 2019 if I remember correctly. Started reading it - but I really wasn't in the right mindset in 2019 to read some of the books I did read in the self-development or self-help realm or even try and start.
First half of the year was rather stressful and I felt quite sarcastic and bitter about a lot of things going on. Starting in September of 2019 - I was getting back into a better place mentally. And in December it really set in. So I picked it up again and started re-reading. (First go-round I may have gotten to page 30 if that).
I totally recommend this book. I purchased the companion to it as well. This is one of the first books I actively highlighted sections in it that I felt hit home for me. And this post will be the main quotes of what I took away from this.
This was eye-opening. My expectations have not met reality and that gave me some amazing food for thought in my life. The activity - about assessing your life when your expectations are not being met. Take the area or issue and write out how you expected it to turn out. Then write how it actually turned out. Be specific. This is how you analyze the gap between reality and expectations. The end goal is to realize that you have to get rid of expectations. (page 173-174)
Affirmation: I am willing/I am unwilling...
"'Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.'" - Marcus Aurelius - pg 14
"It's not that you have to find the answer, you are the answer." - pg 16
"A simple way that I re-frame my own everyday "problems" is by relating to them as opportunities." -pg 18
The quote below is really what kicked my ass in gear with this book.
"Assertive self-talk is when you stake a claim for this moment of time, right here and now. When you start to talk in terms of 'I am...' or I embrace...' or 'I accept...' or 'I assert...,' all of which are powerful and commanding uses of language rather than the narrative of 'I will...' or 'I'm going to...'" - pg 20
"If you're not willing to take the actions to change your situation - in other words, if you're willing to put up with your situation - then whether you like it or not, that is the life you have chosen." - pg 30
"Stop blaming luck. Stop blaming other people. Stop pointing to outside influences or circumstances. Stop blaming your childhood or neighborhood." - pg 30
"Every time you add the 'but' to the end of that statement, you turn yourself into the victim." - pg 32
"Only when you're unwilling to continue just simply existing, feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled, will you make the effort necessary to make a change." - pg 37
"Once you adopt the mindset of 'I am unwilling,' you will no longer be filled with guilt, resentment, or regret every time you see something you think you 'want.'" - pg 42
"...try breaking the task down into smaller declarations of willingness..." - pg 44
"Willingness is a truth, a true beauty that only you can generate." - pg 46
"Willingness. It's the lifeblood of the new, the infinite will of possibility and potential, a state where new futures arise and a whole new you can begin." - pg 46
Affirmation:I am wired to win...
"Think of the problem areas in you life. Now think about them in terms of what you are winning at...If you're struggling to get work done..." pg 65
"But if we change our thinking a little, we can use our mind's unconquerable nature to act on all the positive goals and dreams we hold for ourselves. We are wired to win - we just have to point ourselves in the right direction so we can win at something we consciously choose." - pg 67
"We are wired to win. You are wired to win. Define you game, embrace the challenge, and strive to understand yourself in deeper and more meaningful ways." - pg 70
Affirmation: I got this...
"The thing is, the negative experiences we have rarely stay contained to that one issue. They spread." - pg 78
"Even the more serious problems probably seem a lot different today. After all, you did make it through them, and they ultimately helped shape and form who you are today." - pg 86
"Remember, everything is solvable, and if you can't see a solution, it only means you haven't worked it out yet." - pg 89
Affirmation: I embrace the uncertainty...
"'In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.'" - Theodore Roosevelt - pg 102
"But as soon as they chose certainty over uncertainty, the stopped achiever. They hit the wall." - pg 104
"We settle for certainty." - pg 104
"'All I know,' Socrates once said, 'is that I know nothing.' Many wise people understand this. In fact, they owe their wisdom to that very realization - that they don't actually know a damn thing." - pg 105
"The person who accepts how unpredictable and uncertain life is has no choice but to embrace it." - pg 106
"You're never going to achieve your true potential if you're hooked by what other people think." - pg 109
"Dare to dream, dare to risk and startle your life into life." - pg 111
"When you stop searching for certainty, when you quit trying to make sense of everything, a lot of your stress will simply melt away." - pg 112
Affirmation: I am not my thoughts; I am what I do...
"That 'to-do; list quickly becomes a 'don't-wanna-do' list." - pg 121
"You are what you do." - pg 122
"...shift your subconscious. And that, my dears, is like turning a battleship. It takes time." - pg 124
"...you don't have to feel like today is your day; you just have to act like it is." - pg 126
"By challenging our thoughts with actions and exposing ourselves to the situations we resist, we train our brain to see the world more cognitively." - pg 130
"'Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.'" - Dale Carnegie - pg 131
"I want you to act in a way that's independent of your typical negative or unproductive thoughts." - pg 132
"'Action may not bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.'" - Benjamin Disraeli - pg 135
"Just take the first step." - pg 137
Affirmation: I am relentless...
"In fact, the greater the degree of discomfort you experience, the greater the difficulty, the greater the sense of personal accomplishment that comes after." - pg 144
"So anytime you attempt to break out of that mold, you're not only messing with your own world, you're messing with theirs." - pg 145
"...don't be fooled by the self-help bullshit that tells 'You deserve it!' Because you don't. No one does. That conversation will leave you waiting and wanting and eventually a complete victim to your own life." - pg 151
"You can absolutely refuse to accept it and reach for your greatness." - pg 150
"Relentless is the overweight mom who feels like she's never going to get there." - pg 158
"And that's the many difficulties and complications in your life are the direct result of expectations that you have or have had." - pg 172
Affirmation: I expect nothing and accept everything...
"'This is appropriate.'" - pg 179
"Plan for victory, learn from defeat...Be free to love them the way they are and be loved the way that they love you...Love the life you have, not the one you expected to have." - pg 183
Epilogue:
"The regret will course through your body, your mind, your heart." - pg 195
"But nothing can stop you from moving forward and being great, if that's what you really want." - pg 198
The two steps to freedom: (pg 199; 202)
1. Stop doing what you're currently doing.
"You can, and you will." - pg 200
"YOU DON'T WANT TO CHANGE! If you did, you'd be doing it! Call yourself out on this shit." - pg 201
2. Start taking the actions to propel you forward.
"You have to make the difference. Make it happen." - pg 204
I bought this book, "Unfuck Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life" sometime in 2019 if I remember correctly. Started reading it - but I really wasn't in the right mindset in 2019 to read some of the books I did read in the self-development or self-help realm or even try and start.
First half of the year was rather stressful and I felt quite sarcastic and bitter about a lot of things going on. Starting in September of 2019 - I was getting back into a better place mentally. And in December it really set in. So I picked it up again and started re-reading. (First go-round I may have gotten to page 30 if that).
I totally recommend this book. I purchased the companion to it as well. This is one of the first books I actively highlighted sections in it that I felt hit home for me. And this post will be the main quotes of what I took away from this.
This was eye-opening. My expectations have not met reality and that gave me some amazing food for thought in my life. The activity - about assessing your life when your expectations are not being met. Take the area or issue and write out how you expected it to turn out. Then write how it actually turned out. Be specific. This is how you analyze the gap between reality and expectations. The end goal is to realize that you have to get rid of expectations. (page 173-174)
Affirmation: I am willing/I am unwilling...
"'Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.'" - Marcus Aurelius - pg 14
"It's not that you have to find the answer, you are the answer." - pg 16
"A simple way that I re-frame my own everyday "problems" is by relating to them as opportunities." -pg 18
The quote below is really what kicked my ass in gear with this book.
"Assertive self-talk is when you stake a claim for this moment of time, right here and now. When you start to talk in terms of 'I am...' or I embrace...' or 'I accept...' or 'I assert...,' all of which are powerful and commanding uses of language rather than the narrative of 'I will...' or 'I'm going to...'" - pg 20
"If you're not willing to take the actions to change your situation - in other words, if you're willing to put up with your situation - then whether you like it or not, that is the life you have chosen." - pg 30
"Stop blaming luck. Stop blaming other people. Stop pointing to outside influences or circumstances. Stop blaming your childhood or neighborhood." - pg 30
"Every time you add the 'but' to the end of that statement, you turn yourself into the victim." - pg 32
"Only when you're unwilling to continue just simply existing, feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled, will you make the effort necessary to make a change." - pg 37
"Once you adopt the mindset of 'I am unwilling,' you will no longer be filled with guilt, resentment, or regret every time you see something you think you 'want.'" - pg 42
"...try breaking the task down into smaller declarations of willingness..." - pg 44
"Willingness is a truth, a true beauty that only you can generate." - pg 46
"Willingness. It's the lifeblood of the new, the infinite will of possibility and potential, a state where new futures arise and a whole new you can begin." - pg 46
Affirmation:I am wired to win...
"Think of the problem areas in you life. Now think about them in terms of what you are winning at...If you're struggling to get work done..." pg 65
"But if we change our thinking a little, we can use our mind's unconquerable nature to act on all the positive goals and dreams we hold for ourselves. We are wired to win - we just have to point ourselves in the right direction so we can win at something we consciously choose." - pg 67
"We are wired to win. You are wired to win. Define you game, embrace the challenge, and strive to understand yourself in deeper and more meaningful ways." - pg 70
Affirmation: I got this...
"The thing is, the negative experiences we have rarely stay contained to that one issue. They spread." - pg 78
"Even the more serious problems probably seem a lot different today. After all, you did make it through them, and they ultimately helped shape and form who you are today." - pg 86
"Remember, everything is solvable, and if you can't see a solution, it only means you haven't worked it out yet." - pg 89
Affirmation: I embrace the uncertainty...
"'In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.'" - Theodore Roosevelt - pg 102
"But as soon as they chose certainty over uncertainty, the stopped achiever. They hit the wall." - pg 104
"We settle for certainty." - pg 104
"'All I know,' Socrates once said, 'is that I know nothing.' Many wise people understand this. In fact, they owe their wisdom to that very realization - that they don't actually know a damn thing." - pg 105
"The person who accepts how unpredictable and uncertain life is has no choice but to embrace it." - pg 106
"You're never going to achieve your true potential if you're hooked by what other people think." - pg 109
"Dare to dream, dare to risk and startle your life into life." - pg 111
"When you stop searching for certainty, when you quit trying to make sense of everything, a lot of your stress will simply melt away." - pg 112
Affirmation: I am not my thoughts; I am what I do...
"That 'to-do; list quickly becomes a 'don't-wanna-do' list." - pg 121
"You are what you do." - pg 122
"...shift your subconscious. And that, my dears, is like turning a battleship. It takes time." - pg 124
"...you don't have to feel like today is your day; you just have to act like it is." - pg 126
"By challenging our thoughts with actions and exposing ourselves to the situations we resist, we train our brain to see the world more cognitively." - pg 130
"'Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.'" - Dale Carnegie - pg 131
"I want you to act in a way that's independent of your typical negative or unproductive thoughts." - pg 132
"'Action may not bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.'" - Benjamin Disraeli - pg 135
"Just take the first step." - pg 137
Affirmation: I am relentless...
"In fact, the greater the degree of discomfort you experience, the greater the difficulty, the greater the sense of personal accomplishment that comes after." - pg 144
"So anytime you attempt to break out of that mold, you're not only messing with your own world, you're messing with theirs." - pg 145
"...don't be fooled by the self-help bullshit that tells 'You deserve it!' Because you don't. No one does. That conversation will leave you waiting and wanting and eventually a complete victim to your own life." - pg 151
"You can absolutely refuse to accept it and reach for your greatness." - pg 150
"Relentless is the overweight mom who feels like she's never going to get there." - pg 158
"And that's the many difficulties and complications in your life are the direct result of expectations that you have or have had." - pg 172
Affirmation: I expect nothing and accept everything...
"'This is appropriate.'" - pg 179
"Plan for victory, learn from defeat...Be free to love them the way they are and be loved the way that they love you...Love the life you have, not the one you expected to have." - pg 183
Epilogue:
"The regret will course through your body, your mind, your heart." - pg 195
"But nothing can stop you from moving forward and being great, if that's what you really want." - pg 198
The two steps to freedom: (pg 199; 202)
1. Stop doing what you're currently doing.
"You can, and you will." - pg 200
"YOU DON'T WANT TO CHANGE! If you did, you'd be doing it! Call yourself out on this shit." - pg 201
2. Start taking the actions to propel you forward.
"You have to make the difference. Make it happen." - pg 204
Comments